Postman Pat

Where did it all go wrong for Postman Pat? One minute he's happily puttering around Greendale, fixing bicycle tyres, collecting eggs and driving sheep. The next he's being unnecessarily micromanaged by a hopeless home delivery firm – Yodel in all but name – as the reality of those paternity suits kicks in (there is, you will notice, an abundance of bespectacled redheads in the village school) and he's forced to seek a higher-paid job he simply can't do. The former Postman of the Year now has to make one delivery a day, and he can't even manage that without breaking or losing it (or both). Deadlines are missed, property is routinely damaged and the cat is more trouble than it's worth (who in their right mind takes his pet to the office, anyway?). But not to worry: if all else fails (and it usually does) the gyrocopter is always on hand, ready to decapitate a priceless statue or fetch Jess down from a tree. The SDS carbon footprint must be astronomical. — James

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